How to be a good tennis parent
A professional tennis coach gives his five tips for being a better, more supportive parent to a junior tennis player…
Ah, the tennis parent.
How often have you heard a terrifying tennis parent story? They get too involved; they argue; they scold their child; push them beyond their limits; live vicariously through their child’s achievements.
My fellow coaches have called some of them insane; headcases; monsters hell-bent on getting their child to the top of the game - whatever the cost.
Okay, you want your children to do as well as they possibly can…
… but here are five ways to support your child’s tennis journey without being labelled a psycho.
1. Keep practices varied
Some parents have a background in coaching. And that’s fine! You are allowed to coach your child.
If you are going to get on court with them, however, remember to keep things varied. The reason for this is two-fold.
Firstly, they’ll likely learn a lot more. Putting your practices in the context of a game situation will develop your child’s tennis instincts much more than a closed practice session.
Let me elaborate. There are times where it will be beneficial to work on the depth of your child’s forehand cross-court. Most of the time, especially below the age of 10 or so, this kind of practice isn’t particularly realistic. Keeping practices much more open will allow your child to work on their improvisational skills, finding the right shot selection instinctually rather than trying to talk them through each and every situation in tennis.
Putting them in a points situation where there is much more movement and shot variation required is far more beneficial than drop feeding them forehands all day.
The obvious second reason? This is far more enjoyable for your child. That’s what tennis should be - enjoyable!
Andre Agassi’s dad used to make him hit 1000 balls every morning. Agassi became a great tennis player but I guarantee you he doesn’t make his students do the same thing - the American grew apathetic towards the sport, even when he was at the top of the game.
Keep your child’s practices open and varied! This will help them better develop their tennis and to allow them to fall in love with the sport naturally.
2. Encourage good values
Tennis is a fantastic sport for learning life lessons. Help your kid to learn from tennis by encouraging these values.
It’s about the journey, not the destination! Winning definitely feels good but it isn’t everything. Just like losing isn't everything either. Help your child enjoy the journey. Praise them for specific points they played or their ability to compete rather than focussing too much on the result. Carlos Alcaraz has a smile on his face regardless of the score - you can tell just how much he loves using his tennis to express himself!
Respect your opponent. This should be promoted above all else. It sometimes gets understated in tennis and you end up with young players that give dodgy line calls, break their rackets or go as far as scolding their opponent. I’m absolutely zero tolerance on this one - you can get caught up in the heat of the moment but never cheat or take it out on your opponent. It’s a game. Don’t let your child forget there’s a human being on the other side of the net!
Never give up. Even in the face of adversity or defeat, encourage your child to stay positive. As Rafael Nadal put it “[down a double break in the third set], of 100 matches probably you going to lose 90. But if you give up, you’re going to lose 100.” Staying positive to give yourself a fighting chance is extremely character building.
Tennis is a tough sport. Help your child to take it on as best they can by encouraging these values!
See also: How to be a good sportsperson: 12 unwritten rules of tennis behaviour for junior players
3. Don’t pigeonhole your child to tennis
How can your child become the best tennis player they possibly can be?
By playing other sports besides tennis!
Tennis is an incredibly athletic and precise sport. If your child is going to excel, it’s important they develop every facet of their coordination. The best players that I’ve coached have all played multiple sports growing up, their abilities to coordinate and move far exceeding those players that have been pigeonholed to tennis.
And again, it helps your child to enjoy what they do! Let them pick their sport. You’re not there to live through your child - you’re there to support there choices as best you can. Giving them the freedom to choose will help them to exercise because they love it, not because they have to.
You can pick tennis for your child at first but, ultimately - excelling in any field - your child has to pick tennis for themselves.
See also: Is it OK for my child to play only tennis?
4. Don’t get involved during tournaments
Here’s one for my fellow tournament organisers.
DO NOT get involved at tournaments!
If they’re a little older (approx 11+), your child is out there on their own. It’s a scary feeling but you have to let go and let them fight their own battles. There are referees but most of the time they can’t be in two places at once - the onus is on the kids to play a fair game. So stay out of it! Not only is it not right for you to be fighting their battles, it’s frankly embarrassing for your child if you get involved.
Are they too young to contest a line call or talk to the referees? If there is egregious cheating going on and there are referees floating between courts, consider having a quiet word with one to keep an eye on the match.
That’s all though. Don’t start line calling from the side or contesting the referee’s decisions. Just let the match run its course and teach your child to control what they can i.e. don’t cheat in retaliation, maintain their composure, enjoy the match wherever they can - basically all of those good values from earlier.
Though some parents will have you believe otherwise, these tournaments aren’t life and death. Give your child the best experience possible by supporting them from the sidelines.
See also: Playing tennis as a team - how to get the most out of team tournaments
5. Remember to be a parent
Last but by no means least… Remember your role. You are this child’s parent.
If they lose, you don’t need to microanalyse the match.
If they win, you don’t need to give them a rundown of what worked and what didn’t work.
If they lose their cool on the court or tell you they hate tennis, you don’t need to tell them how controlling their emotions could have resulted in a win.
Give them a hug. Love them. Support them.
Don’t get lost in the idea that tennis demands perfection. Let your child be a child - every child needs a parent.
To summarise…
How to be a good tennis parent:
1. Keep practices open and varied to help your child develop and fall in love with the sport.
2. Encourage the good personal and ethical values that can be learned from playing tennis.
3. Encourage your child to play multiple sports and ultimately allow your child to pick tennis for themselves.
4. Do not get heavily involved when your child is playing tournaments.
5. Remember you are a parent, not a pro sports analysist - act like one!
As always, any questions or thoughts, tweet me @ontheline_jack. Happy hitting!
Jack Edward is a tennis analyst and host of the On The Line podcast, which takes regular deep dives into ATP and WTA tour matches. He’s also a qualified LTA coach and on Talking Tennis he brings his unique analytical insights to help club and recreational players to be more effective on the court.
See also:
Is it OK for my child to play only tennis?
How to be a good sportsperson: 12 unwritten rules of tennis behaviour for junior players
Playing tennis as a team - how to get the most out of team tournaments
